A Sip of Liquid Courage (No Way To Take It Back)
by Lisa Telramor
Summary: Shinichi didn't know what to expect when Saguru invited him out. Seeing a different side to him was definitely not among them. Saguru/Shinichi


Kudo Shinichi was not drunk. In fact, he was entirely sober. The funny thing about having a group of people try to kill you that went by alcohol names, it kind of put you off alcohol for life. Although watching Mouri Kogoro make a fool of himself over the years had kind of helped that aversion along. So no alcohol to numb him to the ridiculous behaviors of people around him at events.

Honestly he didn't mind too much. It's kind of fun to know what people are like under the influence if only for hypothetical blackmail information. But when he agreed to come with Hakuba to a forensics conference, he wasn't really expecting them to get invited out for drinks, let alone at a club. Shinichi was a bit out of place.

Hakuba knew one of the younger officers that invited them. And Hakuba definitely wasn't as uptight or shy with a drink or two in him.

At the moment, Hakuba was flushed-faced and grinning at something his friend was saying. The relaxed smile was a nice look on him. He actually looked his age.

The song playing changed and the person Hakuba was talking to let out a whoop and grabbed someone from the group to drag toward the dance floor. Left alone, Hakuba's eyes skipped around the table and landed on Shinichi. His wide grin became a little less wide, but no less warm as he scooted closer.

"Didn't know this was your kind of thing," Shinichi said when Saguru was close enough that he'd be able to hear.

"It's not really," Saguru said, "but I have enough friends who like this sort of thing that I've grown used to it."

For a man that was more than a bit tipsy, he was still very articulate. But not perfectly put together anymore—Hakuba had run a hand through his hair at one point and his shirt was a bit rumpled from brushing up against bodies to reach the bar. Shinichi offered him a smile. "So you don't have a secret love for dirty dancing?"

Hakuba snorted. "Hardly. Although dancing in general is nice. Do you dance?"

"Not like that," Shinichi said with a nod to the grinding going on at the edge of the dance floor.

"How about that?" Hakuba said, with a nod for the wilder waving of arms and shimmying bodies moving in and out of each other's space.

"Never tried."

"Care to try?" There was something flirtatious in the way Hakuba held out his hand and tilted his head to the side, something the edge of challenging too. Shinichi was probably reading too much into it. Hakuba was just drunk and enthusiastic.

The moving bodies on the dance floor weren't very appealing, but the genuine invitation was, so Shinichi put his hand in Hakuba's. "Sure. Why not?"

"Lovely."

Hakuba swept Shinichi out of their booth and to the loud crush of the dance floor before Shinichi could register how warm Hakuba's hand was. Hakuba danced like someone with formal lessons who'd decided to throw them out the window—good posture and sense of rhythm, careful awareness of a partner, but moving however felt right instead of to any pre-set choreography. Shinichi moved with him, a laugh startled out of him as Hakuba gave them a spin, a hand still holding Shinichi's own.

Shinichi had no idea what the hell he was doing. He almost elbowed half a dozen people and stepped on Hakuba's foot at least once. He should have felt too sober and self-conscious to do this, but it was actually kind of fun. The room had an energy to it. The music might be too loud and the people too close, but they moved like one organism with the beat of the music and it was its own kind of exhilarating to be caught in the middle of it. Plus it was kind of hard to be too self-conscious as Hakuba had completely lost any of that a while back. When everyone else was drunk, the sober party was the least ridiculous by default.

The song changed, and the beat surged faster. Shinichi found himself pressed closer to Hakuba in an effort to not get too close to strangers, and Hakuba didn't seem to mind.

He had a hand on Shinichi's hip, probably helping him balance, and when dancers crushed them closer still, Shinichi realized that Hakuba was a lot closer than he'd thought. He had a happy grin on his face and Shinichi suddenly wasn't sure what he was feeling.

He tugged Hakuba's shoulder, nodding off the dance floor.

Hakuba went willingly enough, not taking hands from Shinichi as they somehow ended up against a wall in the far end of the room, not near their table at all.

"A bit too many people," Shinichi said, having to speak loud to be heard.

Hakuba nodded. "This is better. I'm glad you're here."

"Er. Yeah." Shinichi realized Hakuba still had a hand on his hip. Usually Hakuba didn't touch anyone more than needed.

"I wasn't sure how you'd feel about going to the conference with me." Hakuba tilted his head to the side and his body shifted a bit with it. Shinichi shot a hand out but it seemed that Hakuba wasn't actually tipping over, just shifting on his feet. Shinichi kept a hand on his arm anyway just in case. "Kudo-san." Hakuba looked him in the eyes suddenly serious.

"Uh, yes?"

"I'm glad to have you as a friend."

"You too." Shinichi hadn't realized that Hakuba considered him a friend. They spoke when they crossed paths on cases or Kid heists, but this was the first time they'd ever done anything together deliberately.

"And I'm glad you're here now." Hakuba's free hand landed on Shinichi's shoulder.

"…Yeah." This was getting a bit too…intense. And Hakuba leaned in closer. Shinichi could smell the alcohol on his breath. "Uh, Hakuba-san maybe you should—"

"I'm really glad," Hakuba said like he hadn't heard Shinichi start speaking at all. Shinichi lifted a hand to Hakuba's shoulders to get a bit of distance, but the next moment Hakuba's face was right in his and lips pressed against his, messy and a bit off center.

Any words he might have found died in his throat. What the hell.

"Mm." Hakuba hummed against his lips. Tilted his head to try again.

Shinichi unfroze. "Wait wait wait wait." He pushed Hakuba back and Hakuba let him, blinking at him in confusion. "Hakuba-san," Shinichi said firmly. "You're drunk."

Hakuba blinked again. "A little bit, yes," he said reasonably.

It shouldn't have been endearing, but it was and Shinichi couldn't even feel too bad about the situation. He patted Hakuba on the shoulder, hoping it came across as friendly but not so friendly that Hakuba was going to try and kiss him again. They kind of needed to have a sober conversation about this, which wasn't going to happen tonight. "I think that it's time to call it an evening."

"Oh?" Hakuba looked hopeful.

Shinichi snorted despite himself. "Not that kind of evening." He tugged on Saguru's hand, stepping away. "Come on. Let's get you back to the hotel and sobered up."

"I don't think I'd be able to be this forward sober," Hakuba said, following along happily enough. He was a little unsteady, but not so bad that Shinichi thought he'd have to dive closer to keep him from falling flat on his face.

"And that's exactly why we're going to go sober you up."

Hakuba was silent, turning that over in his mind with a slight frown on his face as Shinichi said goodbye to Hakuba's friends. They were halfway into the walk to the hotel when Hakuba, probably starting to sober up said, "I made a grave mistake didn't I?"

Shinichi glanced back to find Hakuba looking at Shinichi's hand around his wrist, still guiding him on the off chance Hakuba decided to try doing something spontaneous and potentially dangerous the way drunk people could do. The frown had become full-fledged and troubled. It was so far away from the open grin earlier that Shinichi felt a pang of guilt. Looked like he'd kind of ruined Hakuba's evening even if he didn't mean to.

"I wouldn't say a mistake," Shinichi said carefully. "You're just more impulsive right now."

"I did make a mistake then," Hakuba said with heavy certainty. "Damn."

"Hakuba, it's fine."

Hakuba said nothing, just followed Shinichi back to the hotel room they'd booked for the conference and accepted the glass of water Shinichi got him from the bathroom tap.

"Want to talk about it?" Shinichi asked.

"I think I'm going to be very embarrassed in the morning," Hakuba said in a detached way that said he wasn't properly processing emotions now. A pause, then "Kuroba is going to mock me mercilessly for having a type."

"Kuroba?"

"A…classmate? Friend? Enemy?" Hakuba squinted at the ceiling. "Past crush? Is it really past though…? It's a bit like those relationship lists with a check-box for 'it's complicated' or 'all of the above'."

"Right." There was a lot Shinichi didn't know about Hakuba, and who Kuroba was only comprised a small part of that. "Feeling a bit more sober?"

"Unfortunately. I always have hated the crash." He drank half the glass of water in one go and wrinkled his nose at it. "It's so nice not to overthink everything for a while."

Well, Shinichi could empathize with that. "Finish the water and get some sleep, Hakuba-san and we can talk in the morning."

"Must we?" Hakuba said with a sigh, then, "I don't suppose I could get one more kiss for the night?"

"Ask me in the morning," Shinichi said, finding himself meaning it. He didn't really look to men, but really, outside of Ran he didn't find himself attracted to people in general. If he let himself look at Hakuba that way, well, he wasn't un-interesting.

Hakuba nodded and downed the rest of the water. "Right. Apologies in advance if I try to run in the morning."

"You're not going to now?"

"Oh, no. I'm much too tired and not nearly mortified enough yet." Hakuba collapsed face first onto one of the two twin beds, not even bothering to take any clothing off or get under the covers. "Goodnight."

Shinichi snorted when he started snoring softly a few moments later. He wasn't really sure what to do with the situation, but he honestly did find Hakuba a friend, so this wasn't something they couldn't work out. Shinichi took off Hakuba's shoes without him even twitching before going through his nightly routine and climbing into his own bed. It was pretty easy to fall asleep, all things considered.

o*O*o

Shinichi woke up to muffled swearing and Hakuba clutching a stubbed toe with his eyes squinted in the light-sensitive way people had when they were hung-over. "Are you running?" Shinichi asked sleepily.

Hakuba froze. "Kudo-san."

Shinichi sat up and stretched. Hakuba's eyes followed the motion like he couldn't help it. He also looked like he was terrified what was going to come out of Shinichi's mouth next. Well, that wouldn't do. "I don't suppose this hotel room has a coffee maker."

"Er. I hadn't looked for one."

"Hmm. Well I need caffeine. If you're not trying to run away, we can get breakfast and talk."

Hakuba relaxed in degrees, lowering his foot back to the floor. "…I'd like that."

"Great. I cleaned up last night, so the bathroom is all yours."

"…Thank you."

Hakuba all but ran, taking clean clothing with him.

There was a restaurant attached to the hotel, so that could be their next destination. Shinichi still didn't feel uncomfortable with what happened last night. He'd kind of thought he would, but if anything he was a bit curious how far the faint interest he'd felt during that kiss went. And, well… He sighed internally. He wasn't in a relationship right now considering things with Ran had been more than a bit tense after he came back from being Conan. No time like the present to explore the full spectrum of his sexuality.

o*O*o

Hakuba was quiet until halfway through his first cup of tea. Then he just looked nervous. Shinichi sipped coffee—and this was good coffee—and waited patiently for Hakuba to figure out what he wanted to say.

"So," Hakuba said finally, once the pinched look of a hangover headache was starting to smooth away. "Apologies for last night. It appears that I let myself go a bit too much and ended up inconveniencing you. And. Taking liberties with your person." Hakuba blushed, not looking quite in Shinichi's direction. "I assure you that such a slip of propriety won't happen again, and I hope it hasn't caused you any reason to regret our friendship."

Hakuba, Shinichi decided, was kind of cute when he was shy. Not as much as when he was smiling unreservedly, but it made him look vulnerable and approachable a lot more than his usual confidence did. Not that he necessarily found confidence unattractive. "You didn't ruin anything," Shinichi said. "And I'm not mad. I was a bit surprised, but nothing you did upset me."

Hakuba's eyes flicked up and away. "That isn't how most people respond," he said a bit ruefully. "I admit that I'd hoped you would be interested in return, and that I invited you to go to the conference for less than pure reasons, but I honestly only intended to find out whether or not you'd even consider being interested in men last night. It's just that I was nervous and the last time I attempted to determine this sort of thing it wasn't…"

Shinichi blinked. "Honestly you seemed really confident last night."

"I wasn't thinking," Hakuba said. "I can get… tripped up by over analyzing and second guessing and a few drinks tends to turn that part of my mind off. Unfortunately, a few too many drinks and I end up overconfident and impulsive and prone to giving into whatever emotional whims I happen to feel."

"So it was a whim?"

Hakuba still couldn't look at him. "…Not entirely."

"Hmm." So in other words, Hakuba definitely thought of kissing him before that night, he just didn't have the usual inhibitions not to. Shinichi sipped at his coffee. "Well, last night you were drunk enough that I definitely wasn't going to respond. Just saying, a drink is one thing, but that much alcohol is a different story. Now that you're sober…" Shinichi shrugged. "I'm honestly not sure how I feel, but you aren't unattractive and I enjoy your company. I'd be up for trying that kiss again."

Hakuba stopped trying to avoid looking at him and stared. "I… truly?"

Shinichi shrugged again. "In all honesty, I hadn't kissed a man before last night or even thought of it, but it could have been a nice kiss under different circumstances, so…"

"Oh." Hakuba blushed again, faint pink along his cheeks. "Oh." The shy look vanished as a much more confident smile crossed his face. "Well, then I'd like that. I. Would you be interested in a date? A proper one, not just me inviting you to things and failing to reveal my motivations."

"I'd like that." Shinichi smiled back.

The rest of breakfast went smoothly, conversation switching over to their hobbies instead of the usual routes of crime and cases, last night's dancing opening a new topic to know each other better. And at the end of it, once they were back in their hotel room gathering up their things to leave, Hakuba drew Shinichi into another kiss. A much more hesitant and shy kiss, but no worse than the first one.

And Shinichi kissed back.


End file.
